It’s been years since Jeroen came to me. He was a co-partner of a large training company, and he was done. Jeroen was exhausted, and he looked it too. For some time, he had been having disagreements with and trouble with a colleague partner and felt more and more tense. I didn’t tell him, but he actually looked more dead than alive.
When I asked him how he relaxed in private, he said he only hung out on the couch or sat behind the computer gaming in the evenings. His relationship had little energy at that time, and he saw his friends rarely. He was done. Why then continue?” I asked him. He replied that he wanted so much to be there for the employees, that he wanted to help them.
The Battery is Almost Empty
I told him that if he continued like this and didn’t take care of his own stock of energy, then he had nothing left to give and therefore could not do anything for others. That he would come to a complete standstill. Think of the instructions in an airplane when it’s said that in an emergency, you should first put on your own oxygen mask and then that of your child. Compare energy to a battery: empty is really empty.
Your biggest responsibility is therefore to take good care of yourself. A little later I asked him why he still worked for the organization and why he didn’t leave. He replied that he would then receive less pension. Then it was time to really change his perspective and to give him a ‘wake-up call’: “Jeroen, if you continue like this, then you won’t need a pension anymore, because then you’ll be lying between six planks. So… what do you choose?”
That got Jeroen thinking and it got him moving (some time later). The result was that Jeroen said goodbye to his organization after a few months. He needed a very long time afterwards to recover further. To recharge his battery. Now he has been working as an independent professional for a number of years, enjoying beautiful vacations with his wife on the motorcycle. He feels great, looks good, and radiates.
“A good balance between effort and relaxation allows you to peak”
– Pieter van den Hoogenband –
Tapering
In sports – including the swimming world – we know the term “tapering.” This involves a conscious process of relaxing. This means that athletes do as little as possible in certain phases. I often use tapering in swimming or in other sports as an example. Our body and mind need to rest occasionally. You have to be able to recharge your battery: physically, mentally, and emotionally.
How do you do that?
Stress and Energy Management
The subject of ‘stress and energy management’ usually comes up when I work with clients. How do you approach your relaxation? When? Where?
For many, this is a challenge, with all those meetings from hour to hour, all those deadlines, and all the demands placed on you professionally and personally. In addition, there are also all those stimuli from social media and the amount of emails in your inbox. And if you have young children at home, waiting eagerly for you… And of course your partner, who also wants attention. Phew…
Keeping Your Energy High and Reducing Stress
What can you do concretely to relax and increase your energy?
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Sleep.
Less than six hours of sleep and working continuously turns out to be one of the main causes of burnout. Sleep affects mental health as significantly as it does physical health, according to Arianna Huffington in ‘The Sleep Revolution’.
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Proper Nutrition
Did you know that about 50% of managers in the Netherlands are overweight and 20% drink too much? Worse yet: 30% of managers believe that health has a serious impact on their work, but about 85% of managers hardly talk about it. You probably know what is right for you. However, it requires knowledge, insight, and discipline to put the right things into your body…
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Clean up (mentally).
I don’t think anyone escapes negative events in their life that can haunt them for a long time. Think of the death of a loved one, a difficult childhood, an insult or sudden dismissal by a former boss, a traumatic war experience, or an accident. These scars lead to emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, and so on. This can undermine someone’s self-confidence and often the trust in others. Fortunately, you don’t have to suffer from it permanently. You don’t even have to suffer from it at all. Often it can suddenly come to the surface, then someone suddenly ‘suffers’ from it later in their life. There are several techniques for mentally cleaning up. One of them is Timeline Therapy®.
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Clear your mind.
Not for nothing has the term “mindfulness” become so popular in recent years. And yet this topic remains a neglected one. Your mind really needs rest and silence regularly and cannot be “on” day in and day out. Yoga and/or meditation and/or breathing exercises are ancient and proven methods to clear your mind, recharge your energy, and develop more creativity.
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Move.
Sitting is now called “the new smoking.” And not without reason. Regular exercise is the basis for good health. This doesn’t just mean a lot of sports. Make sure to engage in a few moments of more intense exercise daily. And try to do that especially in nature, which relaxes the most.
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Learn to say “No.”
Where are your boundaries? That is very personal, varies by context and period. If you know what is really important for you to function well and energetically, then you also know better where and when to draw a line in the sand: up to here and no further. It’s not always easy, but it will protect you.
